Nurturing the Parent–Child Relationship While Homeschooling: A Comprehensive Guide

Homeschooling is more than a method of education—it's a relationship-driven lifestyle. When parents take on the dual role of caregiver and educator, the dynamic between parent and child inevitably shifts. Some families experience deeper connection, while others face tension, role confusion, and emotional fatigue.

So how can homeschooling parents preserve—and even strengthen—their bond with their children during the learning process?

This article explores the importance of the parent–child relationship in homeschooling, the common challenges that arise, and evidence-based strategies to maintain a strong, respectful, and nurturing connection throughout the educational journey.

Why the Parent–Child Relationship Matters in Homeschooling

1. Emotional connection fuels academic engagement

A positive parent–child relationship is foundational to effective learning. According to a study published in Frontiers in Education (Zheng et al., 2022), students who felt emotionally supported by their parents during learning exhibited higher motivation and academic self-efficacy. This is especially crucial in homeschooling, where the emotional tone of the home directly influences the child’s learning outcomes.

Source: Zheng, J., Li, Y., Zhang, Y., & Cui, Y. (2022). The relationship between parental emotional support and students’ academic engagement: The mediating role of academic self-efficacy. Frontiers in Education, 7, 854549. https://doi.org/10.3389/feduc.2022.854549

2. Parental teaching confidence lowers conflict

Research from the Journal of Family Psychology (Bentenuto et al., 2022) found that when parents—particularly mothers—felt confident in their ability to teach, they experienced fewer conflicts with their children during homeschooling. On the other hand, parents with low teaching self-efficacy faced more frustration and disciplinary issues.

Source: Bentenuto, A., Mazzoni, N., Giannotti, M., Venuti, P., & de Falco, S. (2022). Parent–child conflict during homeschooling: The role of teaching self-efficacy, parental stress, and household chaos. Journal of Family Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000961

3. Homeschooling can improve or strain relationships

A 2021 survey conducted by Irish homeschooling advocate groups found that 75% of parents felt their relationship with their children was strained during pandemic-induced homeschooling. However, many long-term homeschoolers report the opposite: that consistent home education helped them grow closer through shared experiences and open communication.

Source: O’Mahony, J. (2021, March 4). Homeschooling puts strain on parent-child relationship, survey finds. The Irish Times. https://www.irishtimes.com/news/education/homeschooling-puts-strain-on-parent-child-relationship-survey-finds-1.4505797

Common Challenges for Parent–Child Relationships in Homeschooling

1. Role Confusion

Switching between being a nurturing parent and an academic authority can be emotionally jarring for both parties. Children may resist “teacher mode,” while parents may struggle with discipline and expectations.

2. Emotional Burnout

A study from BMC Public Health during the COVID-19 pandemic showed that caregiving and teaching simultaneously significantly increased parental stress and emotional exhaustion, particularly in households lacking support or routine.

Source: Huebener, M., Waights, S., Spiess, C. K., Siegel, N. A., & Wagner, G. G. (2022). Parental well-being in times of COVID-19 in Germany. BMC Public Health, 22, 568. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-022-12532-2

3. Resistance and Power Struggles

Without clear boundaries and emotional support, children may push back against parental authority in academics. This can lead to recurring conflict, frustration, and withdrawal from learning.

Strategies to Strengthen the Parent–Child Bond During Homeschooling

1. Establish Clear Boundaries Between “Parent” and “Teacher” Roles

Create physical and emotional cues to signal transitions between roles. You might use a specific workspace, wear a “teacher” hat, or begin lessons with a short ritual (like lighting a candle or playing a song). This helps both parent and child adjust expectations.

2. Foster Collaboration Instead of Control

Homeschooling is an opportunity to move from authoritarian instruction to co-learning. Invite your child to contribute ideas, make choices about their projects, and reflect on their learning goals.

Homeschooling communities often emphasize the value of collaboration, where the child feels like a partner in the process. As Reddit user and long-time homeschooler “TeachNExplore” puts it: “Once I stopped trying to replicate school at home and started learning with my son, our relationship improved tenfold.”

Informal source: Reddit user comment, /r/homeschool thread “Improving my relationship with my homeschooled teen,” October 2024. https://www.reddit.com/r/homeschool/

3. Begin Each Day with Emotional Check-Ins

Start the morning with a short connection ritual:

• “How are you feeling today?”

• “What are you looking forward to?”

• “Is anything stressing you out?”

Emotional attunement has been shown to increase children's capacity for regulation, resilience, and relational trust (see Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University).

Source: Center on the Developing Child. (2010). The Foundations of Lifelong Health Are Built in Early Childhood. Harvard University. https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/the-foundations-of-lifelong-health-are-built-in-early-childhood/

4. Use Autonomy-Supportive Responses

According to a recent preprint from researchers at the University of British Columbia, autonomy-supportive parenting—which validates the child’s perspective and provides choices—leads to better behavior and fewer relational conflicts.

Source: Whelan, K., & Grolnick, W. (2024). Parental Autonomy Support and Adolescent Behavior Problems: The Role of Emotion Regulation. arXiv:2501.00065. https://arxiv.org/abs/2501.00065

Examples include:

• “You can choose which assignment to start with.”

• “Would you like me to help or do it on your own first?”

5. Apologize and Repair After Conflict

No one is perfect. What matters is how you handle conflict when it happens. When things get tense:

1. Pause the lesson.

2. Validate feelings on both sides.

3. Apologize if needed.

4. Reconnect before resuming.

Research shows that repair is critical to long-term trust and relationship health, especially in close, high-frequency interactions like homeschooling.

6. Build Daily “Non-School” Connection Time

Being home together doesn’t automatically mean you’re connecting. Schedule time outside of lessons for:

• Reading together

• Playing board games

• Cooking or gardening

• Sharing hobbies

As Amy Morin, LCSW, writes in Verywell Family, “Creating intentional bonding rituals—no matter how small—builds trust and emotional security.”

Source: Morin, A. (2021). 10 Daily Habits That Will Strengthen Your Parent-Child Bond. Verywell Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/habits-that-will-strengthen-your-parent-child-bond-620063

7. Join Homeschool Co-Ops and Support Groups

Isolation is a major stressor in homeschooling. Joining a co-op or support group can provide:

• Emotional relief for parents

• Peer interaction for children

• Guidance from more experienced homeschoolers

According to EdChoice’s national survey, 65% of homeschooling families use support networks for both educational enrichment and relational sustainability.

Source: EdChoice. (2021). The 2021 Schooling in America Survey: Homeschooling Families & Personalized Learning. https://www.edchoice.org/focus-group-homeschooling-families-on-personalized-learning/

What Relationship-Centered Homeschooling Looks Like

Sample Daily Routine

Time	Activity	Relational Focus
8:30 AM	Morning Check-In	Emotional connection
9:00 AM	Core Subjects	Clear transitions & expectations
11:00 AM	Snack + Chat	Casual bonding
11:30 AM	Project-Based Learning	Autonomy & collaboration
1:00 PM	Outdoor Walk	Relaxed conversation
2:00 PM	Reading Together	Shared interest
3:00 PM	Reflection & Planning	Mutual feedback

Final Thoughts: The Relationship Is the Curriculum

In the end, your relationship with your child is more important than any textbook or academic milestone. Homeschooling allows for a kind of relational depth that’s often impossible in a traditional school setting—if it's approached with intention, flexibility, and compassion.

No day will be perfect. But if your child feels seen, respected, and safe to learn in your presence, you’re doing far more than educating—you’re building the foundation for lifelong connection.